funny dog quotes

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. ~Author Unknown



Many people have sighed for the 'good old days' and regretted the 'passing of the horse,' but today, when only those who like horses own them, it is a far better time for horses. ~C.W. Anderson



Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. ~Edith Sitwell



At the rate we're going, the Inaugural Ball is going to be a surprise party. ~Argus Hamilton



An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex. ~Aldous Huxley



Angels can fly because they carry no burdens. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994



How good does a female athlete have to be before we just call her an athlete? ~Author Unknown



For those wounded by civilization, yoga is the most healing salve. ~Terri Guillemets



Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." ~Mark Twain, autobiography, 1904 (but, as yet no actual record of this under Disraeli's authorship)



May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters. ~Author Unknown



The deviation of man from the state in which he was originally placed by nature seems to have proved to him a prolific source of disease. ~Edward Jenner



Libraries are the wardrobes of literature, whence men, properly informed may bring forth something for ornament, much for curiosity, and more for use. ~William Dyer



In order to judge properly, one must get away somewhat from what one is judging, after having loved it. This is true of countries, of persons, and of oneself. ~Andre Gide



A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between countries, so the officials can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly. ~Lemony Snicket



Be the master of your fate, be the captain of your soul, but do not hesitate, should the chance befall you, to be the slave of your heart. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education. If it's anywhere near as successful as our war on drugs, in no time we'll all be hooked on phonics. ~Leighann Lord



Quirky is sexy, like scars or chipped teeth. I also like tattoos - they're rebellious. ~Jennifer Aniston



It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him. ~Olin Miller



Snowflakes are kisses from heaven. ~Author Unknown



Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. ~Howard W. Newton