I intend to live forever. So far, so good. ~Steven Wright
A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison
Every man is a reformer until reform tramps on his toes. ~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911
Some people are so boring that they make you waste an entire day in five minutes. ~Jules Renard
You've gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less. ~Author Unknown
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it. ~Doris Day
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~Marilyn Monroe
Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~George F. Will
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. ~Dennis Ritchie
Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing. ~Walt Kelly
We all participate in weaving the social fabric; we should therefore all participate in patching the fabric when it develops holes. ~Anne C. Weisberg
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. ~Florynce R. Kennedy, 1973
You know you're an Arizona native when you take rain dances seriously. ~Skip Boyer, quoted in You Know You're an Arizona Native, When... compiled by Don Dedera, 1993
I often derive a peculiar satisfaction in conversing with the ancient and modern dead, - who yet live and speak excellently in their works. My neighbors think me often alone, - and yet at such times I am in company with more than five hundred mutes - each of whom, at my pleasure, communicates his ideas to me by dumb signs - quite as intelligently as any person living can do by uttering of words. ~Laurence Sterne
A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. ~Beryl Bainbridge
They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards. ~Creighton W. Abrams
Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. ~Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back
A sister shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams. ~Author Unknown
The map is not the territory. ~Alfred Korzybski
The world more often rewards the appearance of merit than merit itself. ~La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665
You know that saying, that when God closes a door he opens a window, well, sometimes out of nowhere he'll do you one better and he'll kick a whole wall down. ~Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan, Glee, "Furt"
A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. ~Author Unknown
Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too. ~Lionel Kauffman